Before I tell you how to transform yourself, I must ask you for a favor. I want you to be happy with who you are but at the same time realize that there’s always room for growth and improvement. It’s sort of a balancing act.

You see, if you’re overly satisfied with who you are and your qualities, then you’re missing opportunities for growth. On the other hand, if you’re too focused on growing and improving, there’s a strong chance you’ll stop appreciating who you are right now. You’ll start thinking about qualities you lack instead of all the good things you already have.

Once you learn to balance between being grateful for who you are and also understanding that there’s always chances to grow, then you’re in the proper mindset to transform yourself.

Here’s one simple way I attain qualities that I don’t yet have.

The list

This is where your transformation starts…I call it “the list”.

On a piece of paper or a word processor on your computer, I want you to make a list of every quality you want. You can always add on some later if you can’t remember everything right now. Write the quality you want using just one word. Don’t write full sentences. Just one word after another.

Example: motivated, healthy, happy, loving, rich, caring….and so on.

The longer the list, the better for you. My list is pretty long. About 30 words so far and it keeps growing.

When you’re done with your list, you’re ready to transform yourself.

The transformation

So why’d I have you put only one word for each quality? Because then there’s less for you to read and you’re more likely to use the list everyday.

Let me explain how the transformation works in basic terms. You’re going to look over your list of qualities every single morning to remind yourself what you want. At night before you sleep, read your list again but this time think of what you did that day to incorporate that quality into your life.

Here’s some examples: Loving- I bought my girlfriend flowers for no reason. Rich – I saved money by cooking dinner. Organized – I cleaned my closet. Calm – I read a relaxing book.

The transformation part is really not that difficult at all but it requires consistency. Doing this every day makes those qualities you want a part of you.

Every day you’re thinking about things you did that relates to certain qualities and your brain processes this information over and over again. What happens when your brain does this? It’s like studying for an exam…you keep repeating it until it’s stuck in your head and becomes a part of you.

That’s basically the whole transformation process. It’s simple and with consistency, it’s super effective.

Some quick tips

• In the morning, look over your list when you’re fully awake so you put all your effort into it.
• Over time, try thinking of two actions per quality instead of just one.
• Keep consistent! Great things don’t happen overnight (unless you win the lotto).
• In the beginning, look over your list a few times a day to stay focused.
• Don’t try too hard, remember to be happy with who you are.
• This process shouldn’t be a chore or a bore. Be excited about it to achieve maximum results!

Friends are something everyone should have. Why? Because it’s not always about what you know but who you know too!

What really are friends though? Let’s think about this for a second.

Friends are really just strangers. Well, they were strangers at first. But over time we’ve gotten to know these strangers and now we feel close to them. The more we learn about and spend time with these strangers, the closer we feel and the better of friends we become.

So how do you make friends?

The best way to make friends is…..drum roll please….TALK TO PEOPLE! Yes, that’s the million dollar answer right there. Communication brings people closer. Remember what I said earlier? The closer we feel, the better of friends we become.

The answer to making friends sounds simple, but applying it can be tricky for some MANY of us.

Here’s some simple ways I found that makes making friends easier.

Speak with your body first

Our body speaks the thoughts in our mind. For instance, look at athletes after they lose a game. We can see their disappointment through their facial expressions and the way their walking or standing. No words have to be said for us to notice that they’re disappointed. The body speaks for itself.

Here’s two simple ways you can send out a positive message with your body language. Smile and make eye contact.

Smiling shows you’re excited to meet them and eye contact shows you’re interested in them. That’s all there really is to it. When you smile, the rest of your body coordinates with that smile to project the same message.

What to talk about

This is the part the freaks people out. What the heck do I talk about?!?!

Don’t worry, there’s a simple way to overcome this.

If you want to seriously make some friends, you have to talk to them about them. Making the conversation all about them will have them love you! Everyone loves to talk about themselves, that’s no secret.

You also have to talk in a tone of voice that projects excitement and energy. Don’t do an annoying high pitched voice and scare them away. Just use a tone that shows you’re awake and focused.

So you start out by smiling and making eye-contact when introducing yourself to show excitement and interest in them. Then you continue by using a proper tone of voice to show more excitement, and you also make them the topic of conversation to show even more interest. Amazing huh?

How to keep the conversation going

Ever had a moment like this?

You: Do you like reading?
Them: No
You: Oh..
Then it’s DEAD SILENT and uncomfortable for the next 5 minutes.

How do you avoid those moments? You keep the conversation going by asking more questions. Let me give you an example.

You: Do you like reading?
Them: No
You: Oh, what do you like doing then?
Them: I like watching movies better.
You: Really, what’s your favorite movie?
Them: Titanic is my all time favorite.
You: That was a great movie. What else do you like besides movies?
Them: Well, I’m a big fan of snowboarding.
You: Wow me too, where do you usually go to snowboard?
Them: There’s a nice ski resort about 2 hours away.
You: I’ve been there once, when was the last time you went…..

So you see what’s going on? Every question is based on the answer the other person just gave you. This makes the person feel you’re listening and are genuinely interested in them and what they’re saying.

Also, notice how the topic went from reading to movies to snowboarding. The more people you talk to, the better you’ll get at transitioning. Keep transitioning until you find something you have in common like snowboarding in the example. This is when the conversation really hits off because now you two have something in common. We feel connected with people that share our likes and dislikes.

This is how you avoid those in between silent moments. You follow up to an answer with another question.

Before ending the conversation

So you’ve done everything perfectly and you and your newly acquired friend have to part ways. The conversation is coming to an end. What do you do now?

You have to find another means of communication besides the one you just had. This is asking for their “friendship”  and it’s simpler than it sounds….just ask for their phone number, “You are great to talk to, let’s exchange numbers so we can talk some other time.” That line should work everytime. You’re not only getting their number, but also giving yours which leaves room for open communication.

In this technology-filled world, it also wouldn’t be a bad idea to ask if they have Twitter or Facebook. Those are other ways you can talk to them. The more they see and hear of you, the closer they’ll feel to you and the better of friends you’ll become.

Follow up

After finding another means of communication, use it to invite them somewhere. Maybe lunch or coffee. Try to choose something where you two will talk a lot and get to know each other better. That’s why I don’t recommend something like the movies, you won’t get to talk.

Don’t wait too long to follow up with them either. Do it while you’re still fresh in their mind. It gives both of you better connection with each other.

Remember, the more they see and hear from you, the closer you two will become. And that’s how you make friends!

“You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.”  – Albert Camus

“Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.”  – Buddha

“Good judgment comes from experience and experience comes from bad judgment.”  – Fred Brooks

“A man who dares to waste one hour of time has not discovered the value of life.”  – Charles Darwin

“I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past.”  – Thomas Jefferson

“I not only use all the brains that I have, but all that I can borrow.”  – Woodrow Wilson

“Every man dies. Not every man really lives.”  – William Wallace

“Your life is what your thoughts make it.”  – Marcus Aurelius

“Action is the real measure of intelligence.”  – Napoleon Hill

“The purpose of life is a life of purpose.”  – Robert Byrne

“Every moment is an experience.”  – Jake Roberts

“He is able who thinks he is able.”  – Buddha

Actions speak louder than words.

You don’t need to tell someone who you are because they will see who you are through your actions.

If you want to be known as a generous person, donate your time and money to those who need it.

To be known as a positive person, do things to help people see the bright side of life.

If you want to be seen as determined, instead of telling people what you can do, show them what you can do.

Let your actions define you.

More Powerful Than Words

Keep your intentions inside, and let those intentions show through your actions instead of your words only.

The saying goes, “You can talk the talk, but can you walk the walk?”

Imagine a person saying, “I’m not scared, I’m not scared, I’m not scared!” But when it’s time to go on the biggest, baddest rollercoaster ride on the planet, they back out completely.

What will you remember them by? Their words or their actions?

So you see why actions are the key to defining a person….so make sure your actions define you the way you want to be.